Don’t Make Me laugh
Anil Shahi, 2012
Acrylic on canvas
62 × 175 cm each (set of 10)

© Sangeeeta Thapa

My series of works hold up a mirror to society and to the fake smiles of clown-like, delusional souls. Drawing on the iconic images and narratives of Hindu mythology, my paintings depict the character of those who seek their shadow in the moonlight. One character, for example, poses like Muhammad Ali, another one rips open his chest like the Hindu god Hanuman to reveal a three-eyed joker with a halo.

Occasionally, a sense of wonder overtakes me when listening to news of developments and other exciting advances in the field of politics, whether of the promise of a glorious future, or the hope of a comfortable lifestyle. A glimmer of hope grows within me, filling me with a sense of renewed vigour. In reality, these are only fleeting moments – a distant, optimistic dream.

My dreams hover a while before flying away like an unexpected gust of wind. And yet the same dreams recur over and again until fading into the distance. Our open wounds never heal because we pick at them. We scrape off the scabs so often that distinction between pain and painlessness can no longer be felt. Thus, we forget the very existence of our wounds. Silent and numbed we stare at each other, and smile.

My canvases narrate the stories of those numb and lost souls around us. Souls forced to be the clowns of their own making, bound to put on a permanent show, no matter the cost. I have portrayed those souls who have learned to bow down to a hollow and counterfeit play of emotions, and who laugh their well-rehearsed laugh while taking a path of darkness others have foisted upon them.